The Best Memoirs
THE BEST MEMOIRS I’VE READ – AND WHY
First of all, I want to qualify the title of this post. Obviously, there’s no such thing as ‘the best memoirs’ because as much as we might try to rank art, we are only ever voicing our preferences. And these are mine.
So, rather than a ‘Best Memoirs of All Time’ list, I present these as great memoirs that have delighted, inspired, and taught me the most about how to write memoir well. Some of these you will recognise as being among the most popular memoirs of recent times, while others will probably be new to you.
These books offer a range of styles, subjects and approaches to memoir, and the idea is to offer an overview of the terrain and a wide range of possibilities. I recommend choosing one or two books that you are immediately drawn to, as well as one or two that are not the kind of thing you normally read. As in life, we can often learn most from those who are most unlike us.
1. Educated by Tara Westover
I’ll start with one of the most famous memoirs of the last decade. There are many reasons why this book was on the lips of everyone I talked to when it was published in 2018. First of all, it’s incredibly well-written, and the story will spin your eyeballs. Westover was raised by survivalist Mormons and this account of her childhood and struggle to individuate and educate herself are absolutely riveting. But she also has tremendous insight, an extraordinary capacity for compassion and a unique way of addressing the challenges of writing about family members who have differing memories. If you haven’t read it, do.
2. There is a Season by Patrick Lane
No single book has taught me more about memoir or possibly even about the craft of writing. (I know: that’s a big statement, and I don’t make it lightly.) Firstly, Lane was a brilliant poet, so there is a delicate power to every word and his images practically shimmer on the page. But this book is also the perfect model of a structure that allows the story to skip across time and space without getting lost by a narrator who has done the hard work of forgiving every person in his story, including himself. This is a work of genius. I’ve read it at least 5 times.
3. Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander
Oh, how I love this book. We have another poet at work here, so the carpentry of language is exquisite. While it is the story of the author’s husband’s sudden death (while jogging on a treadmill, healthy as ever) and her gradual emergence from that slaughtering shock and grief over the ensuing months, it is also an honoring of their relationship and family. The narrative constantly swims between the tragedy of his death and the celebration and joy that was their life together. It is achingly beautiful. I’ve also read this book numerous times.
4. Birds Art Life by Kyo Maclear
During the early days of the pandemic, I was asked by the CBC to recommend a book to Canadians. I chose this one and wrote: "If our lives become circumscribed, what can we make of them? If we stop looking to the exotic to dazzle us, can we find splendour within the small sphere of our neighbourhoods? If we slow down enough, stop distracting ourselves, pay attention to what is in front of us, might our lives become even richer and more beautiful?” If you are wondering how to make a ‘quiet story’ a majestic one, this gorgeously written book is for you. I adore it.
5. These Precious Days by Ann Patchett
Amazing memoirs need not be single-story books. They can also take the form of a collection of personal essays and every one of these goes down like a great cup of coffee. Whether she's writing about her three fathers, the books she loves, her husband's passion for flying, or how Snoopy comics influenced her as a writer (made her a writer?), Patchett does it with such exceptional skill, humour and heart, I was inspired every time I put the book down. It’s one of those books you start reading more slowly because you just don’t want it to end.
6. I Am I Am I Am by Maggie O’Farrell
Similar to an essay collection, a great memoir can also be a series of themed stories. In this instance, the theme is death, or rather near-death experiences (the book’s subtitle is Seventeen Brushes with Death). The writing is both elegant and fierce, and anyone writing to a theme rather than a more typical chronological story would do well to study the way O’Farrell organises and weaves her material, moving us around in time and place, all while balancing us on the edge of ourselves. It’s the perfect study in how to do ‘short memoir’ well.
7. Conundrum by Jan Morris
One of the most common mistakes people make when they set out to write memoir is trying to include too much. Waaaaaay too much. If this is you, let this slim volume show you how to tackle even the most complex and profound of life stories and distill it to its most powerful essence. Jan Morris, once famous for reporting the summit of Everest to the Queen as James Morris, was one of the first writers to discuss transsexuality so candidly and openly—the book was first published in 1974—and I’m not sure anyone has done it any better since. This is a gold-star classic and it was one of my inspirations when I wrote Confessions of a Fairy’s Daughter [link to book] about growing up with a gay dad in the 1970s.
8. Fun Home by Alison Bechtel and Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
Okay, I’m cheating, but I had to include one of these ‘graphic memoirs’ and they’re both so fabulous I couldn’t decide between them. I first read Persepolis when it was sent to me by my publisher for an endorsement (also known as a blurb). I’d never read a ‘graphic memoir’ before and when I opened it up and saw the illustrations, I’ll admit that I wrinkled my nose and thought, ‘you want me to review a comic book?’ Oh, how little I knew. And how humbled I was. Both of these books are as powerful as they are entertaining, as moving as they are enriching. I now believe that everyone should read at least one good graphic memoir (or novel), if only to see how brilliantly these writers lay story onto the page and what we can all learn from story that is told visually. Expand your horizons! You’ll be surprised what you find. And if you are a writer with talent for visual art, you’re in for some dazzling inspiration.
9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
This is another gold-star classic by one of the greatest writers of our time. It’s an absolute masterpiece and the perfect study for anyone writing about childhood, no matter how different or similar their childhood might have been to Angelou’s. This book is as poetic as it is powerful, the story carried with as strong a narrative voice as you are going to find anywhere. Despite the desperately fierce challenges and brutality of racism that it recounts, “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings liberates the reader into life simply because Maya Angelou confronts her own life with such a moving wonder, such a luminous dignity.”—James Baldwin. This book isn’t just ‘recommended reading,’ I think of it more as required.
10. Wild by Cheryl Strayed
This is one of the most popular memoirs of all time and with good reason. Again, the writing is stellar [are you seeing a common thread here?]. And again, this book’s structure is an excellent learning tool and one that is well worth studying. In this case, the author uses a 1000-mile hike as the ‘vehicle’ or ‘container’ for her story. If you’ve ever wondered how to write a large story from your life without telling your whole life story (again: the biggest mistake people make when trying to write memoir!), I suggest reading this book with one eye on how the author does the essential: narrows the focus of her ‘container’ to widen the scope of her story.
Best Autobiography
You’ll notice that the above is not a list of the greatest autobiographies of all time (or even the best memoirs and autobiographies, as those are two distinctly different genres), and I only consider myself an authority on the former. That said, the best autobiography I’ve read in a while is Becoming by Michelle Obama—yes!—and the most popular autobiographies tend to be written by people who are already famous for something other than writing. Memoir, by contrast, can be compelling even when its author is not famous.
(Why is that? Join me for a free masterclass and find out!)
Alison Wearing is a bestselling, multiple award-winning writer, playwright and performer. She is also a memoir writing coach and the creator/facilitator of Memoir Writing Ink, an online program that guides people through the process of transforming personal stories into memoir.